I am the single girl of this group so you can guess what topic some of my posts will revolve around. Yes, in a group of about 8 girls I am the one of the single ones. One or two other girls in this Destiny Hunters may be single for a while but I am the one who take the crown for being single longest.  People always ask me why I am single and the simple truth is because of statements like the one that is the title of this blog post. MARRIED BUT AVAILABLE. Seriously, what the hell does that even mean!

So here’s the story behind that line. One day I am at work and we are in the middle of a sort of conference kind of meeting, very serious one I might add, when my colleague walks up to me and asks me if I am single and I innocently answer him yes. Then he walks away and works for a few minutes then comes and tells me “You know I am married but available.” Ever heard something that just left you reactionless? I will leave that story there because the ending is not important.

You listen to some of the morning shows and evening drive shows on the radio and you wonder why women are bitter or what made women so angry and sometimes I believe it is because of things like this. If I have been married to you and given you two kids and we are still together happily (or so I thought) why would you still consider yourself available to other women? (p.s this is the case of my colleague. He has a gorgeous wife and two adorable kids).

I am not a pessimist who doesn’t believe in love but what I don’t understand is what makes men get to this point? You date a guy and he is an absolute angel and charmer. You are convinced you know this guy very well because he is your best friend and would never hurt you. Then you get married to him and start a family and he decides to go get himself some spice out there.  Isn’t that always the case? You think you know a guy before you commit to him and you keep saying your man is not the kind but how do you really know? At what point do they change or have they always been like that and just suppress their philanderous nature.

I know what you will say. That nothing is life is a guarantee so you just have to get in there and make yours work and that maybe I will get the good and honest one but what are the chances of that? In a society where the concept of faithfulness and fidelity is a foreign how do you trust your man and believe that he won’t be “available” to other women? Yes, yes, yes, I get it when men say not all men are the same but where did these seemingly irrationally “thirsty” men come from?

Let me give you one last real conversation that I was part of recently to emphasize my point.  In a random meet up of friends, one of the guys arrives looking extraordinarily sharp and someone in the group asks him what the occasion is and teases him asking whether he is one his way to propose to his girlfriend of more than two years. You know what his answer was “Why would I propose to her when there are so many other hot women in the office for me to choose from” And no before you say it, he wasn’t joking because I asked him later and he said he meant exactly what he said.

This is not one of those tired old debates that end with the line all men are dogs. No definitely not, but all I am trying to understand is and please explain it to me is, what makes a happily married man define himself as “married but available” or a man in a two year relationship say “he is still looking”?

K